Back in 2015, Sophie Tanner (now 42) married herself in a ceremony in Brighton, UK. She married herself five years after her last relationship came to a bitter end when Tanner learned that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with a close friend. Although Tanner’s wedding to herself was supposed to be a symbolic gesture – she was not closing herself off to love – she believed it was a way for her to show love to herself first instead of putting herself behind other people’s wants and needs like she had for most of her relationships throughout her adulthood.
“‘My boyfriend – let’s call him Bob -, who I lived with in Brighton, had cheated on me with one of our friends, who’d told me I was ‘paranoid’ when I expressed suspicions.”
Now, Tanner claims to be open to love again. In the years since she has closed herself off by marrying herself, she has realized that she is more eligible than ever before. She knows how to live with herself and can make herself happy – and will not rely on her partner to do that work for her.
“I’m a big advocate of self-love, but that doesn’t mean I’m against romantic love. The two aren’t mutually exclusive,” Sophie said.
Although Tanner is open to finding love with a man, she admits that she has more important things to do right now, and seeking out a boyfriend is not at the top of her to-do list.
She further explains, “I have huge respect for the deep love connection that two people can find together. It’s very special and deserves proper respect and value. I really admire couples who make it work. So, yes, I’m totally open to having a partner, but I don’t necessarily see it as the only path to living a happy and fulfilled life.
“Since I married myself, I have been attracted to other guys, but they haven’t become partners for one reason or another. My friends totally get the point I’m trying to make. They weren’t expecting me to live like a nun. However, other people, particularly online trolls, choose not to understand where I’m coming from. They say I’m cheating if I date someone and I can’t have my cake and eat it.”
Although she’s spent a lot of time alone, she believes that it has helped her be more prepared for love because she’s done so much work on herself.
“But I think that having a good relationship with yourself actually benefits your romantic relationships. After all, the more you deal with your own c***, the less your partner has to,” Sophie Tanner said.
As for her last boyfriend, Tanner is glad the affair was discovered.
“The whole sorry affair took a while to come to light, and the depth of Bob’s betrayal was staggering. He’d first slept with her on Christmas Eve, in the bed we shared while I was away with family. He then visited me on Boxing Day and met my mum for the first time, staying for a few days. I still don’t know how he had the gall to do that. Anyway, after he’d moved out and gone off with her, I had a bit of a downward spiral. I’ve always been an optimistic person and usually bounce back from knocks quite quickly, but this breakup took me a while to recover from. It was during this time that the idea of self-marriage first struck me.”
Do you think Sophie Tanner is an eligible bachelorette?
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